Touch my ass in toilet

Because, just like millions of other Muslims, I wash my backside after every visit to the toilet using a magical chalice—a small pot filled with water called a lota. To me, using tissue paper alone to wipe clean my crack is like vacuuming an entire house with a Dustbuster—you're inevitably going to miss bits. And missing bits, as a Muslim, is not cool. A lot of people are often—vocally—bewildered by the presence or very idea of a lota or any other anal ablution device. I've heard it all when new people come to my home for the first time, the incessant, "What, so you actually touch your poo?
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A Muslim's Guide to Anal Hygiene - VICE

Nov 28, Boggles my mind that people still don't know how to shit in public restrooms. This is a great way to acquire AIDS, by the way not really, of course, but be careful nonetheless. Second of all, layering the toilet seat with toilet paper is just about the most needlessly time-consuming alternative to squatting. What if there's no toilet paper? You're just not gonna go? Is that the plan? Way to go, jackass, you've just ruined the rest of your night as all your attention is now focused directly on clenching your asshole so that you don't prairie dog it during the rest of your date.
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If your ass is touching a public toilet seat, you're doing it WRONG

Who says the Japanese make all the fancy potties? Kohler has jumped into wash-yer-butt bidet derby with its C3 series toilet seats, using a special "hydra-cleansing wand" pictured at right to give you a hands-free alternative to toilet paper. It even has a remote control to initiate the whole cleaning and drying process. Check out the details, plus more pics:
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